Sex Addiction, Orgasm and Influencing Sexual Transmutation

Are you addicted to orgasm?
How would you even know? Orgasm is such a natural act and most men have been orgasming very regularly from a very young age. Is addiction a problem anyway, it is natural and harmless…. But is it really?

Women can be orgasm addicts to. Do find yourself irritable or moody especially with your partner if you haven’t ‘had it’ for a while? Can you last a week without it?
Scientific studies have shown that orgasm produces chemical changes in the brain that are similar to heroin addicts.

Recent brain science discoveries reveal that sex is governed by the reward center of the limbic system in the brain. A Dutch scientist discovered that brain scans of orgasm closely resemble scans of shooting heroin. Other studies show that after orgasm a "sexual-satiation" neurochemical shoots up, and the neurochemistry affecting libido changes radically. In short, conventional sex can cause a hangover.

http://www.reuniting.info/introduction/about_science

So what impact does this have on our life and relationships? Biology has ‘wired’ us to mate and move on to increase the gene pool and procreates the species. Not a good program for the promotion of monogamous, long term relationships. So why fight biology and just give into our natural urges? What would you rather have in life, a long term, fulfilling and loving partner or a series of exciting short term flings that leave you empty and craving for more? A best friend and lover or a hot passionate lover every now and again?

Addictions can cause pain if we can look beyond the short term ‘buzz’ and excitement. Are we even aware of intense cravings for more and irritability when we don’t get it? Are we aware of the way we treat our partner the day after we have released our sexual energy through orgasm.
Pornography and lust intensify addictions. These two things can reproduce the same chemistry in our brain that brings on the cravings for more. So how do we overcome sexual addiction?

Firstly we have to be aware of it. This is the hardest step. For any addict it is hard to admit it, after all that would be admitting to flaws in our character, or so we think. So what constitutes an addiction? How long can you go without orgasm? How long can you go without looking at pornography? Does it eat into your work time or consume your rest time? Sometimes we are not even aware of how our addictions are affecting our moods and our relationships until cracks start to appear. It is not until something usually negative, brings our behavior to our attention.

George was an orgasm addict. He wasn’t going to admit it until after his 2nd marriage was starting to show signs of deterioration. It was his frustration and pain that showed him his first marriage ended because of his addiction. He was determined that his investment in his second marriage was not going to end up like the first but the feelings and frustration that led him down the path of destruction were starting to show 5 years into his 2nd marriage. “The first few years were awesome. My partner shared the same high sex drive and enthusiasm for sexual exploration as I did. After 2 children things have dropped off and I don’t know what to do. I can’t concentrate at work and I am becoming very short fused at home. Spending time on the net to satisfy his cravings was only making them worse.”

So how about willpower? Cross this one off the list. Studies show that willpower is not the best approach to any addiction. Distracting someone with negative consequences doesn’t work.

The Influencer, The Power to Change Anything provides valuable keys to tackle addiction. It describes how a nation decreased the incidence of the spread of AIDS virus through influencing the use of condoms. If large populations can be influenced, tackling your individual problems must be a breeze.

http://www.amazon.com/Influencer-Change-Anything-Kerry-Patterson/dp/007148499X


Here are a few of my notes from the Influencer to start you off on the Sexual Transmutation of lust and addiction to empowerment.

Behaviors in people change because-
1. They think it is worth it
2. They think they can do it

Ways to enhance "I think I can do it"

Little chunks. Set a strategy or a plan for this month only then check in with the results at the end of the month to set your next strategy or plan.
Break mastery into many goals.

Best strategy• transform the difficult into the easy,
• the difficult into the easy,
• the aversive into the pleasant
• the boring into the interesting

Are you a grabber or delayer?
Delayers created diversions to take their mind off rewards to delay gratification.
Delayers focus on tasks rather than rewards.
People who glance at the reward most often were least resistant.
Individuals that exercise self control achieve better outcomes than those who don't.
Self discipline can be learned. Much of will is skill
Adopt a growth mindset.

Personal ability - demand more from yourself to increase self respect.
A change in heart cannot be imposed- it can only be chosen.
The difference between sacrifice and punishment is not the amount of pain but the amount of choice.

Create a vision of who you want to be.
Engage in moral thinking. Many of us just go through the motions without associating what we are doing with a sense of a greater purpose.
See you choices as moral quests or personally defining moments - keep this perspective despite distractions and emotional stress.

When can you be the lover?

When can you be the lover? OSHO

You will have to live dangerously. You will have to move towards the unknown, and you will have to love persons and not things. You will have to be ready not to possess anybody, because the moment you possess the person is not there. Only a thing can be possessed. OSHO


When you look through the eyes of logic, you will know a few things, but those few things will not give you the vision of reality. They will be only abstractions.

When you look through love, then you know the reality as it is. Love is falling with the universe, together; falling in a togetherness. It is orgasmic: you are streaming, and the existence has always been streaming, and both streamings meet and mingle and are infused in each other. A higher synthesis arises: the part is meeting in the whole and the whole is meeting in the part. Then something arises which is more than the part and the whole together -- that's what love is. 'Love' is one of the most significant words in human languages, because love is existential language.

But somehow, from the very childhood, we are being crippled. Our roots with the heart are cut. We are forced towards the head and we are not allowed to move towards the heart. It is something humanity has suffered for long, a calamity -- that man has not yet become capable of living with love.

There are reasons.

Love is risky. To love is to move into danger -- because you cannot control it, it is not safe. It is not within your hands. It is unpredictable: where it will lead nobody knows. Whether it will lead anywhere, that too nobody knows. One is moving into utter darkness but roots grow only in darkness. If the roots of a tree become afraid of darkness and don't move underground, the tree will die. They have to move into darkness. They have to find their way towards the deepest layers of the earth where they can find sources of water, nourishment.

The heart is the darkest part of your being. It is like a dark night. It is your very womb, it is your earth.

So people are afraid to move into darkness; they would like to remain in light. At least you can see where you are and what is going to happen. You are safe, secure. When you move in love, you cannot calculate the possibilities, you cannot calculate the results. You cannot be result-oriented. For love, future does not exist, only the present exists. You can be in this moment but you cannot think anything about the next moment. No planning is possible in love.

The society, civilization, culture, church, all force a small child to be more logical. They try to focus his energies in the head. Once the energies are focused in the head, it becomes very difficult to fall towards the heart. In fact, every child is born with great love energy. The child is born out of love energy.

we teach logic. These seem to be measures for survival. We teach fear, we teach caution, we teach prudence, and all these together kill the possibility of love.

If you love a woman, you are immediately ready to reduce her to being your wife, that is, you are ready to reduce her to a certain role: the role of a wife -- which is more predictable than the reality of a beloved. If you love a man you are ready to possess him like a thing. You would like him to be your husband, because a lover is more liquid; one never knows....

A husband seems to be more solid. At least the law is there, the court is there, the police is there, the state government is there to give a certain solidity to the husband. A lover seems to be like a dream: not so substantial. Immediately people fall in love, they are ready to get married -- such fear of love! And whomsoever we love, we start trying to control. That's the conflict that goes on between wives and husbands, mothers and sons, brothers and sisters, friends -- who is going to possess whom? That means: who is going to define whom, who is going to reduce-whom to a thing? Who will be the master and who will be the slave?

Remember, the first calamity is that one becomes head-oriented. The second calamity is that one starts substituting love needs with things. Then you are lost, lost in the desert land. Then you will never reach to the ocean. Then you will simply dissipate and evaporate. Then your whole life will be a sheer wastage.

The moment you become aware that this is what is happening, turn the tide: make all efforts to again contact the heart. Make contact with the heart again to undo that which has been done to you by the society. Undoing that which has been done by the society is true religion, undoing all nonsense that has been done by your well-wishers. They may be thinking that they are helping you, and they may not be knowingly destroying you; they may themselves be victims of their parents and their society. I'm not saying anything against them. Great compassion is needed for them.

The head has become so dominant that it does not allow any spontaneity. It has become dictatorial. It does not allow the heart even to utter a single word; it has forced the heart to be completely quiet. You will have to listen again to the heart. You will have to start dropping logic a little. You will have to take a few risks.

You will have to live dangerously. You will have to move towards the unknown, and you will have to love persons and not things. You will have to be ready not to possess anybody, because the moment you possess the person is not there. Only a thing can be possessed.

Try to understand it as deeply as possible: the moment you fall in love with somebody, immediately your whole conditioning starts trying to possess him. Resist that temptation; the devil is tempting you -- the devil of the society, the devil of civilization and the church. The devil stands in a very religious garb, and the devil goes on quoting scriptures. Beware!

Whenever you start possessing you are killing love. So either you can possess the person or you can love the person; both together are not possible.

The ego goes on agreeing for wrong things, because the ego can exist only with the wrong. It feeds on the wrong. So whenever you feel that your ego is fulfilled, beware! -- you have eaten something wrong, you have swallowed something wrong. Whenever you feel egoless, relax -- now you have eaten the right, something which is in tune with your nature.

Ego arises out of disturbance, but ego has its own logic. It goes on saying that you are important, that you are the most important man in the world, and you have to prove it. And we are all trying to do this one way or the other -- somebody by possessing more money, somebody by possessing a beautiful woman, somebody by possessing prestige, power, somebody by becoming a president or a premier, somebody by becoming an artist, a poet, somebody by becoming a MAHATMA -- but we are all trying in some way or other to prove our innermost fantasy, that we are the most important person in the world.

Then you cannot be a lover.

OSHO

New discussion forum - using the art of Sexual Transmutation

Join our discussion community and share your inspirations and stories using the art of sexual transmutation. I have had amazing feedback from a few sportsmen recently that have really noticed an increase in performance by controling ejaculation.

We all need motivation to actually put into practice techniques so lets give each other feedback and encouragement. How long can you maintain an ejaculation control cycle and is there a point where there is no longer an intense urge/desire to release or 'reset'.

Sexual Transmutation is not just about ejaculation control or men as a matter of fact. The power of the mind is a major factor. How do you use it.

For women, can you enhance your energy through increasing orgasm or is your response more masculine and you experience the 'roll over and go to sleep" affect?

Join the forum


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Sexual Overstimulation

Our overstimulation causes a cycle of addictions.

We become addicted because it feels good. We lose addictions when we find out it feels better not to be addicted. It feels far more empowering to know that we have control. Addictions control our mind and our actions. To be released from addictions is to be released from a prison.

Overstimulation is the cause of stress, depression, and clinically labelled disorders such as bipolar and sexual dysfunctions.

We over stimulate our body and our mind with information over load, high work expectations and the top it all off with chemicals that over irritate our nerve cells and excite our nervous system...... then wonder why we can’t cope with life, we wonder why other people can’t cope with us, and wonder why we have weight issues, cardiac disorders and sexual dysfunctions before the age of 50.

For example, over consumption of caffeine sets up a cycle of hypoglycaemia which comes from an overstimulated pancreas. This then causes the constant rollercoaster ride of caffeine highs, sugar lows, the shakes and cravings for more caffeine and a sugar cravings boost to the blood sugar levels.

An over stimulated mind is a stressed mind even if we have formulated the beief that ‘I function better under pressure’. An over stimulated mind overstimulates our bodies cortisol levels, a stress hormone, that then depresses our testosterone and our libido, our erections. Testosterone is our youth hormone. It is our strength to stay young and motivated and energetic.

Over stimulation kills our creative edge. Our mind may be functioning at 100 miles an hour solving problems and analysing, processing. We may think we are functioning at our peak, but in reality our effort is all concentrated in 3% of our mind power and that 3% is working dam hard.

To really tap into our inner genius and come up with creative solutions ... effortlessly, and without chemical and mental over stimulation, we need to let go, we need to release all our overstimulating addictions and still the mind.

We can then use the powerful techniques of sexual transmutation to take our creative genius to a higher level. The sensualising of sexual energy that has been stimulated naturally (and not overstimulated by too much of anything artificial including mechanical toys and vibrators) to sensual energy, filtered through heart emotions of gratitude, humility and appreciation, can be the most profound and amazing experience you can share with another person.

In the east they call it Samadhi, the ultimate euphoric experience.

Better Sex Now!

Let me share something with you that most people are embarressed or even ashamed to talk about.

Have you seen those big yellow and red billboards that proclaim “Make love longer” and “Better Sex Now” … the medical profession and drug companies encouraging quick fixes to your sex life and performance that has disinterrgrated because a a very simple factor in peoples lives.

You don’t need drugs to awaken your personal friend (attached down there) that can provide you with so much pleasure and fulfilment.

Find out how you can re-light your fire naturally.

Find out HOW to stimulate your sex energy for success in every area of your life.

Find out how to tranform that energy into sensual heart energy to transform your relationship.

Find out how to elevate your energy, happiness, inspiration to a new level.
Find out about full body orgasm.

The Currency of Sexual Energy – the art of Sexual Transmutation – Y.S de Jong

“I wish I could have read it at the start back last year. You really have changed my life in more ways than I could possibly have imagined.”

Sexual Repression has a price

Last night I caught a cab home with an amazing gentleman called who I will call Lakmi. Lakmi is from India. I was walking down Clarendon st watching as his cab was driving past me in the other direction and the thought entered my mind, “I’d like to hail that cab”. I watched as the cab immediately turned around and pulled over beside me with out the slightenst indication from me that I wanted him except for my glance. After complimenting the ‘cabbie’ on his receptivity, we launched into an hour long conversation about sexuality. It didn’t actually take an hour to drive home, we kept conversing outside of my home.

Lakmi has a friend who got himself into trouble. As a married man who doesn’t ‘get much’, he was easily distracted by another woman's advances. He was invited into her home and he watched as she undressed in front of him and offered him to ‘be with her’.

Hardly an offer any horny man can refuse in the heat of the moment. The out come was not as ‘lucky’. The next day the woman had rung the police and reported that she had been raped by this man.
I believe this mans story that he was taken advantage of. Our sexual hormones and chemicals can be mind controlling and as addictive as heroine. The offer of sexual satisfaction can override all rationality and common sense.

I also understand the enormity that our social conditioning has on guilt and shame associated with sexuality. The seductive woman may have had a great time at the time but then the consequences of guilt and shame seeping in by morning can elicit a reaction of panic and regret. Shame and guilt can drive a person to suicide so it is understandable and comprehensible that she had this emotional reaction and claimed rape.

The other big factor in this story is the origin of the people involved. They come from India, a country where Westerners go to find enlightenment but also a country where their social conditioning has sexuality in a state of shame and repression.
We all feel this conditioning to some degree no matter what country we are from. Control and suppression is the breeding ground for frustration, and sexual expression that isn’t so healthy.

Find a way to express your sexuality. Allow it to flourish in a healthy way and learn the art of transforming that energy into inspiration. Allow your sexuality to empower you instead of trapping your mind and body in outdated social ‘rules’ and belief systems.
Learn the power of creating sensual connections. Sensual awareness and sensual communication can change lives.

Secrets of sex alchemy

Yasmin,
Stumbled upon your website - it's pretty impressive how you've managed to consolidate the 'secrets of alchemy' into a usable modern format - congratulations. This is going to be extremely useful for the members of the 'New Golden Age'.

We are both from the medical profession [I qualify as a medical doctor in 6 months time], so you may have noticed this in your previous years' research - a lot of the great 'alchemists' of the past were medical doctors and medical professionals - I sometimes wonder why.

I was just curious as to whether your book included anything on solo cultivation.

Not too sure whether the public realise that what you have given them in a single book is what people got burnt on the stake for practising - these are some of the world's most highly kept and sough after secrets - this stuff is truly powerful.

Another thing - I work with a lot of the top doctors and professors in the country and noticed one thing - these guys look surprisingly young for their age. It kinda clicked in my mind that what was going on was that these guys were unconsciously [ or consciously - perhaps they were part of a secret society], transmuting their sexual energy, which had the side effect of slowing down ageing. I was kind of shocked when the idea came to my head - have a look - geniuses seem to age slower than everyone else.

It's awesome that this information is coming out - people go for botox treatments to look younger, without realising that they are degenerating themselves by spilling their sexual life force energy - it's essential that this information comes out.

Later on, I would like to do your sexual transmutation course - spinal tap studies appear to show microscopic evidence of sexual fluid in cases of sexual transmutation [ I can forward you the book I read this in if you like] - this is VERY VERY interesting stuff, and it blew my mind when I read it.

Sexual transmutation and 'kundalini science' needs to be made available to everyone in the world - it is my hope that one day, sexual transmutation will be as normal as brushing our teeth. Imagine Yasmin - the world will be transformed!!